Sunday, July 20, 2014

Too Sensitive?

I struggled about whether to write this blog. I am still so blown away by what I'm about to tell you, and it feels like such a very intimate experience between me and the Lord, and very personal to me as it is about my child. However, I feel as if someone out there needs to hear about it.
My five year old son is a delight to me. He is also a complex, sensitive little fellow to say the least. He feels everything much more deeply than the average bear. If a seam in his sock rubs his toe, the socks come off. If the music is too loud at church, he covers his ears and scowls. He is brutally honest, but at the same time will cry if he thinks I'm mistreating one of his sisters. He is a feeler, to say the least. And sometimes trying to make sure that he gets the teaching and discipline he needs, without him feeling like he is being steamrolled or misunderstood, is more of a task than this momma is up to. I pray. A lot. A few days ago, he was having a meltdown about something seemingly small to me, but big to him. And I'm not even sure it started out as a real prayer.."Dear Lord...". But you know what? Even in my exasperation, He heard. And He answered. I felt His presence, and at the same time saw, in my mind, a man. I knew it was Samuel. Very handsome, if I do say so myself. He was worshiping the Lord with everything in him. Full of passion for God. I heard Him say, "While he is a child, you are molding and shaping him. My Holy Spirit is also working in him. I will temper his passion into a passion for Me." It was very quick, but so, so powerful.
Yesterday, I all of a sudden had a memory from when Samuel was about two years old. I had several incidences where I looked at him and immediately heard the word "passion" in my spirit. When I realized that I was hearing that even before this aspect of his temperament presented itself so obviously, I was totally humbled and blown away by the Lord and His goodness.
So, to those of you who have been told you are too sensitive. Feel too much. Feel too deeply. You have been told you are too intense. God made you that way. He wants you to focus it on Him, and His heart for His people. Don't get me wrong. God gave us our feelings, but He never intended for them to rule us. We do have to have discipline in our lives, and also live by the truth of His word. But He created you with that passion. The passion to love Him with no holds barred. To do something amazing. To go after God and His plans when all hell rages against you. You are beautifully created, friend.

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